There are four of us, all dads to players. Initially I thought this would be a case of too many chefs in the kitchen. After all, there are only 14 players on the squad and they are six and seven year olds. But I’ve found we all share similar coaching philosophies. Our delivery isn’t exactly alike, but that is good.

Now I don’t know if these guys have read The Hurried Child (I talk about this a lot in the last blog) and I doubt I’ll ever mention it to them, but they know it anyway. Our team is learning through play; we try to avoid having them stand in line too long, they giggle, they smile, and they are becoming better skaters by the week.

We practice twice a week. We have been for about a month. We played our first game a few Sundays ago against Lakeland, losing on the scoreboard 8-4. My daughter was excited because not only was this her first game, but her cousin played on the other team.

The puck went back and forth from end to end all game. All our kids played the same amount. The teams were evenly matched, but the final score was indicative of the fact that Lakeland’s most skilled player was significantly stronger than our most skilled player.

The kids shouted, they made lots of noise when we scored (if they were paying attention). They all looked like they had fun. Here and there we’d offer some feedback on skills stuff to individuals when they came off the ice, but mainly it was “Good job out there, ______” or “Way to go, ______” or something similar. 

I try to make a point of not talking a ton about hockey to my daughter. Generally, only if she brings it up. On two occasions she has stated that she wants to earn a hockey scholarship. “If I’m really good at something I can go to college for free, Dad,” she says.  I didn’t plant this idea; she got it from the plot of High School Musical 3 (which is not nearly as good as the first one by the way).

If someday my daughter wants to try and be like Karyn Bye, I will support that as I able. But, I hold no vicarious vision to put upon her if she doesn’t go down that road. She will figure out her real desires in her own time. So in addition to telling me about scholarships, she also asked me a real poignant question today as she sat by the fireplace.

“Dad, when we played Luc’s team, did we win?”

I took her question as reaffirming my approach that I do not coach
her team with winning as the priority. After all, only a couple days
later, she wasn't even aware if we had won that game or not.

Her question also affirms that USA Hockey's training is right on. It was the stirrings in me observing her development not yet being recognizably impacted by our often over-competitive culture that was taking me  back to the book The Hurried Child and moved me to write. I was experiencing a childhood innocence myself.

I certainly am guilty of living vicariously through my daughter, but not in the manner that the spirit of The Hurried  Child describes. My daughter's example is facilitating me feeling young instead of me trying to make her act older. In this sense I really think the recommendations of USA Hockey are not only serving its players, but its coaches too.

The Rhinelander Ice Association is the home rink for seven USA Hockey teams for boys and girls ages 6-14. More kids are always welcome. We are even working on getting our outdoor rink ready for simple pick-up hockey too.