Hi all!

Last week, I cleaned out a file of partial blogs: ideas I’d had over the months that never developed into anything. I condensed them all into one neat little blog and called it "Premature Eblogulations."

My editor shrieked when she read that. She made slashing movements with a red Sharpie pen. I was told "eblogulations"  "wasn't a word." 

Instead, she inserted her own lame title onto my blog. It was something stupid like "cruising Chicago” and almost ruined the blog. That’s something only I have the right to do. Bad editor. She doesn't think I'm smart enough to make up new words.  

 Eblogulation….eblogulation, there, now it’s a word. New words are created all the time and I wanted my place in the history books, which in this case would be called the dictionary.

You know, every year there are new words created and I was curious to learn what other new words are out there in the crop of 2008. A quick Google check revealed that thanks to our president-elect, we have a bunch of new words this year. Anyone who achieves success is now known as a BarackStar. Those that supported Barack Obama got caught up in the hype called Obamamania. Their zeal during the primaries contributed to the Obamomentum that led to his election.

Other new words this year include:

Seagull Manager (or Editor): This is a manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves. (Sound like someone I know?)

A Cube Farm: This in an office filled with cubicles.

Ginormous: This is a combination of gigantic and enormous. Used in a sentence: “Gee that sure was a ginormous burrito I ate for lunch.”

Crop Dusting: When someone walks through the cube farm after eating a ginormous burrito and releases a silent but deadly refried bean fart.

Eblogulations is not the first word I’ve created and it won’t be the last. From this day forward I’ll also stake a claim to "chubette."

Chubette is a word which describes us physically-endowed individuals who have dieted and worked out until we fit into those perfect pair of jeans. While the chubette stage is desirable, most of us can only remain there for a few days before our frustration with carrot sticks and non-fat vanilla yogurt cracks our will power and we “pig-out” (new word 1988) on pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and packages of Milano cookies.

This is when Chubette is replaced with another new word I created, called “Chubbles." Chubbles is when the Ben and Jerry’s binging stage is done but we still try to squeeze into those perfect jeans.

If it’s not caught in time, Chubbles can lead to "Morbido." Morbido is another word I invented. It’s a combination of morbid and obesity and a warning sign that it’s time to set aside the knife and fork we’ve been using to dig our own graves and get back on the treadmill and off the Mint Milanos. The only brand name jeans you're wearing now are stamped Omar and Tentmaker.

Until next time, I’ll remain: Red beans and Ricely yours.

Jeff